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Xmas Has Been Xed by Nofx Xmas Has Been Xed #intro E/-----------------------------3------| B/------5------------3-------3--------| G/---0--------2------------4----------| D/---------------0-3-----5------------| A/3-----------------------------------| E/------------------------------------| E/------------------------------------------------------------| B/------------------------------------------------------------| G/5555-7777-----------5555-5555-7777--------------------------| D/5555-7777-1212-1010-5555-5555-7777-1212-1010----------------| A/3333-5555-8-8-7-7---3333-3333-5555-8-8-7-7------------------| E/------------------------------------------------------------| #verse first part PM---------------------------------------------| E/---------------------------------------------| B/---------------------------------------------| G/5555-7777----------------5555-7777-----------| D/5555-7777-5555-7777-3333-5555-7777-5555------| A/3333-5555-5555-7777-3333-3333-5555-5555------| E/----------3333-5555-1111-----------3333------| second part E/----------------------------------------------| B/----------------------------------------------| G/5555-7777-----------5555----------------------| D/5555-7777-5555-7777-5555--3333-5555-----------| A/3333-5555-5555-7777-3333--3333-5555-----------| E/----------3333-5555-------1111-3333-----------| #rit E/--------------------------------------------| B/--------------------------------------------| G/5555-----------5555----------------55555----| D/5555-3333-5555-5555-7777-3333-5555-55555----| A/3333-3333-5555-3333-7777-3333-5555-33333----| E/-----1111-3333------5555-1111-3333----------| INTRO VERSE RIT VERSE RIT X2 It's funny how some fables became historic When the authors clearly wrote them to be metaphoric But people will believe anything if it's written Especially in stone or ancient scroll December 25th has been blacklisted Since Dawkins found the proof Jesus never existed It was the last thing anyone ever expected Xmas has been X'ed No colored lights, no shopping sprees No more presents under dead trees St. Nick is dead but we don't grieve We celebrate the last Christmas Eve Jesuits are slowly turning Dianetic Protestants increasingly become agnostic Pentecostal churches are hanging pentagrams Priests and Nuns are molesting each other Methodists and Baptists are claiming Buddhist Evangelicals surprisingly are Nudist But mostly everyone is trying to become Jew 'Cause Easter's canceled too No more egg hunts, no Sunday mass Fridays are fair, Wednesdays don't ash They canceled lent and slowed down fast Enjoy Christmas 'cause it's your last No shopping sprees (Don't worry son) No more presents (We don't need christ) under dead trees (We got eight nights) St. Nick is dead (we got Mitzvah) but we don't grieve (The're all canceled) We celebrate (our Hanukah!) the last Christmas eve New Year's Revolution: Forget about old acquaintance Instead we honor flagrance This night is so clichéd We mix day-old traditions With random premonitions A futile charade Forget about justice Forget about wars Forget about future The government ignores Fuck your resolution Fuck your annual Fuck your optimism It just sounds so banal It just sounds so banal We're gonna make a New Year's Revolution A New Year's Revolution A New Year's Revolution A New Year's Revolution Next year is gonna be bad The next one even worse That's not called pessimism It's just the truth that hurts Let's all sing together Songs about change Songs about people Notes in my range Can we motivate? Can we incite? Can we make a difference with lyrics oh so trite? With lyrics oh so trite? We're gonna make a New Year's Revolution A New Year's Revolution A New Year's Revolution A New Year's Revolution We're gonna make a New Year's Revolution A New Year's Revolution A New Year's Revolution A New Year's Revolution We're gonna make a New Year's Revolution A New Year's Revolution A New Year's Revolution A New Year's Revolution Resolution! Wore Out The Soles Of My Party Boots: Life is fast but I don't wanna live past you 'Cause you are my only roots I was the king of the drug, booze thing Now I've worn out the soles of my party boots So call me shit faced, 'Master of Disgrace' I don't care 'cause my outer skin Is thick like crust and a liver that's rusted out Now, I'm on a list Everybody wants to give a shit outta me I won't give it but I'll give ambivalence I gotta memory box 'cause my memory blocks me From remembering weeks All the blacked out nights into white out mornings Into gray matter damagings So call me Fat Fuck, geriatric punk rock Give it straight 'cause I deserve A verbal beating from an audience bleating And a melee with no concern Everybody wants to give a shit outta me I won't give it but I'll give irresponsiveness Everybody wants to drag me up again I wanna go but the price keeps going up Going down is simple and practical Laying low but keeping it cynical I'm on the wagon and it's such a drag Without a key kick, shot and a drag Evidently no one likes a quitter Or an old punk's bitterness So I'm waiting for the tap On my shoulder 'cause we're all getting older not better And the laughs are no longer with us So call me Fat Fuck, geriatric punk Call me Fat Fuck, geriatric punk Call me Fat Fuck, geriatric punk Shit faced, Master of Disgrace -----------