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The Vasectomy Song by Larry Heagle
The Vasectomy Song
[C]Well, I went to see my doctor,
I said, "Doc, I can't pay my bills[G]
The rent's all spent and my truck's got a dent
And I think I'm a-gettin' the [C]chills
>From bein' forced to sleep alone, oh, this house just ain't a [F]home
We can't [G]afford no more kids
My life in on the skids
Cause my woman says, 'Leave me al[C]one'
Unless I get a va[G]sectomy, I gotta get a va[C]sectomy
Just [G]one little male alteration,
can [C]save [no chord] us from an other altercation
It's a [G]vasectomy, I gotta get a va[C]sectomy
Oh what a [F]vas defer[G]ens it could [C]be."
[C]Well, the next thing I knew I was layin' on the table
With the lights shinin' in my eyes[G]
They strapped my wrists and they strapped my ankles
And they double strapped my [C]thighs
The nurses were gigglin' and I was wigglin' most uncomfort[F]ably
When the [G]doctor walked in with a perverted grin
And here's what he said to [C]me,
"It only hurts for a little while[C]
That's what they [Am]tell me that's what they say, eh heh heh"
[C]Well it's two weeks later and I feel a little better
And my mind is more at ease[G]
The rent's still spent, my truck's still got a dent
But my woman's no longer a [C]tease
And even down at the office, there's a lot more interest in [F]me
Oh, the [G]girls all grin when I walk in
And brother they mean to [C]please
A man with a va[G]sectomy, you oughta' get a va[C]sectomy
Well, like a [G]Sunkist orange, I've been freed
Cause [C]it's [no chord] all juice and there's no seed
With a [G]vasectomy, you oughta' get a va[C]sectomy
Oh, what a [F]vas defer[G]ens it could . . . .[no chord]
Now here is the part that I like the most
It takes the danger out of bein' close
Want a [F]vas defer[G]ens it could . . . . [no chord]
The snipped those little suckers right in two
And then they clamped 'em off with Super Glue
What A [F]vas defer[G]ens it could [C]be. [G] [C] [G] [C]
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