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The Laughing Gnome by David Bowie The Laughing Gnome C Ab C I was walking- down the high street- when I heard footsteps behind me, Ab C F C F C and there was a little old man in scarlet and grey, chuckling away. Ab C Well he trotted- back to my house- and he sat beside the telly, Ab C F C F C with his tiny hands on his tummy, chuckling away, chugging all day. [spoken] "I ought to report you to the gnome office." "Gnome office, ha,ha,ha!" Bb9 F7 Bb9 F7 Ha,ha, ha!- Hee,hee, hee!- I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me.- Bb9 F7 Bb9 Ab7 F7 Ha,ha, ha!- Hee,hee, hee!- I'm a laughing gnome and you can't catch me.- C Said the laughing gnome. Ab C Well I gave him- roasted toad-stools- And a glass of dandelion wine. Ab C F C F C Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne and carried his bag and gave him a fag. C "Ave you got a light boy?" "'Ere! Where do you come from?" "Gnome-man's land." "Oh,really." C Ab C In the morning- when I woke up- he was sitting on the edge of my bed- Ab C F C F C with his brother whose name was Fred. He'd brought him along- to sing me a song.- C "Alright let's here it?" "'Ere! what's that clicking sound?" F "That's Fred. He's a metrognome." "Own up. I'm a gnome, ain' I?" C "Ain't you got a gnome to go to?" "No! We're gnomads." "Didn't they teach you to get your 'aircut at school? You look like a rolling gnome." "Not at the London school of Ecognomics." C Ab C Now they staying- up the chimney- and we're living on caviar and honey- Ab C F C F C 'cause they're earning me lots of money,writing comedy prose for radio shows. "It's the er- it's the gnome service, of course." [repeat chorus and fade] --------