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Weed Card by Garfunkel And Oates Weed Card Intro {D,G,D,G} D G Everyone knows marijuana's dangerous. D G Medical pot is really strong. D G That's why it's so hard in California, D to get your weed card, G D G unless something's really wrong. {D,G,D,G} D G Gonna pay a visit to my doctor. D G It's a long shot but I gotta try. D G D G She hands me a list of all the illnesses I can have to qualify. A (A) Can't believe what I am reading, this is just what I've been needing. D G D G A Government supply to get legally high. REFRAIN: Em A D Weed card, that's what I need G Em A D hardly ever OK always but it's not an G Em A addiction cause my doctor gave me, D A prescription. {G,D,G} Verse: {D,G,D,G} D G D G You can get your card for having headaches, bad dreams, or anxiety, D G D G especially for drugs or alcohol, anorexia or obesity. D G D G Too fat too thin either way you win. D G D G Heart dome syndrome, color blindness st-studuring, t-tooth decay. D G D G Fatigue, depression, motion sickness, impotence, or TMJ. A (A) You can smoke to quit cigarettes or asthma or your mother f***in turrets. D G D G It's a dream come true, there's nothing pot can't do. REFRAIN: Em A D Weed card, that's what I need G Em A D hardly ever OK always but it's not an G Em A addiction cause my doctor gave me, D A prescription. {G,D,G} Dm Break it down now, Got back pain need Mary Jane, {Dm} cant handle this need cannabis gotta stomach ache, {Dm} gotta wake and bake, got an injury need THC. Am Get f***ed up for your hyperhidrosis, F which is sweaty palms in case you need a diagnosis! D G D G It's not a crime, it's worth twenty times. REFRAIN: Em A D Weed card, that's what I need G Em A D hardly ever OK always but it's not an G Em A addiction cause my doctor gave me, D A prescription. --------