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All Hail Appleton Wi by Jones Candler Kolbinsky All Hail Appleton Wi Tuning:E A D G B E Key:C Capo:no capo [Verse 1] C G C6sus D6sus She was a six-foot-four semi-professional wrestler C G C6sus D6sus And I was the regional manager of a footlocker C G C6sus D6sus I wanted to hop a train to the next town over F G Or maybe even walk all the way up to Canada [Pre-Chorus] Am C6sus Now I am thirteen years old C Dm And I'm crying in my underwear Am C6sus If I don't go to heaven C G I guess I'm going under there, under where again? [Chorus] Am C6sus God I hate my wife C Dm But I don't think I'll ever grow a pair F And it's cold this time of year G In Appleton, Wisconsin [Post-Chorus] F Yes it's cold this time of year G In Appleton, Wisconsin; Yeah! C G C6sus D6sus C G C6sus D6sus [Verse 2] C G C6sus D6sus Seems as though my sister has excommunicated herself from the Catholic Church C G C6sus D6sus And neither of us speak to our family that much anymore C G C6sus D6sus I have become an avid fan of watching Formula One F G And eating all my meals in a Burger King [Pre-Chorus] Am C6sus Now I am forty years old C Dm Still crying in my underwear Am C6sus If I don't find an answer, damn her C Dm I'll make sure that he never lays a hand again [Chorus] Am C6sus God I hate my life C Dm But I don't think I'm going anywhere F And it's cold this time of year Gb G In Appleton, Wisconsin [Outro] F Yes it's cold this time of year G In Appleton, Wisconsin C G C6sus D6sus C G C6sus D6sus C G C6sus D6sus C G C6sus D6sus C ---------