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Todd The T1000 by Jonathan Coulton
Todd The T1000
Capo:no capo
A = x02220
B = x24442
A/C# = x47655
B/Eb = x69877
E = x79997
F#m(maj7) = 243222
A B A B A/C# B/Eb E
E C#m A B
Sometimes I kind of miss the old XJ-9
E C#m A B
that we used to call Jane
E C#m A B
Really good at cleaning and we got along fine
E C#m A B
so I couldn’t complain
C#m G#
Lately she’d been getting tangled up in the shag rug
E F#
And finally one wheel just wouldn’t spin
F#m D7
So we said our goodbyes and I traded her in
E C#m A B
This new one’s kind of creepy, makes me shudder inside
E C#m A B
with his idiot grin
E C#m A B
He’s head to toe with muscles and they ripple and slide
E C#m A B
under translucent skin
C#m G#
Sometimes he’ll stand for hours looking into the mirror
E F#
And flexing like some guy at the gym
F#m D7
And I’m easily ten inches shorter than him
E F#m G#m C#
Todd the T 1000 scares me
F#m F#m(maj7) F#m7 B
I don’t think he knows I’ve got a right to exist
E F#m G#m C#
And he sits in my favorite chair and dares me
F#m F#m(maj7) F#m7 B
And when I look over he is making a fist
A B A B A/C# B/Eb E
One finger at a time
E C#m A B
I ask him if he’ll vacuum and he doesn’t respond,
E C#m A B
but I know that he heard
E C#m A B
I turn and catch him looking when he thinks that I’m gone
E C#m A B
and he flips me the bird
C#m G#
I asked him when we started, please stay out of the bedroom
E F#
But I don’t think I’m safe anywhere
F#m D7
When I wake in the dark I can tell that he’s there
E F#m G#m C#
Todd the T 1000 scares me
F#m F#m(maj7) F#m7 B
I don’t think he knows I’ve got a right to exist
E F#m G#m C#
And he sits in my favorite chair and dares me
F#m F#m(maj7) F#m7 B
And when I look over he is making a fist
A B A B
One finger at a time
A B A/C# B/Eb
So I live like a ghost while he’s living like me
A B A/C# B/Eb
It’s not my house any more
A B C#m B/Eb
And I sneak out the door while he’s watching TV
A B A/C# B/Eb
Head down to the cyborg store
G#m7 C# G#m7 C#
I get some new arms installed at the store
G#m7 C# G#m7 C#
Buy the biggest ones I can
A B A/C# B/Eb
Head back to my house, Todd answers the door
A B A/C# B/Eb
He sees more than just a man
E C#m A B
My right arm is a smasher like the trunk of a tree
E C#m A B
and the left one’s a saw
E C#m A B
I cut the couch in half and I smash the TV
E C#m A B
with my big smashy claw
C#m G#
He’s standing still and silent, I can’t tell what he’s thinking
E F#
He blinks a single glowing red eye
F#m D7
So I give him a shove and then Todd starts to cry
E F#m G#m C#
Todd the T1000 scares me
F#m F#m(maj7) F#m7 B
But I think he knows I’ve got a right to exist
E F#m G#m C#
And he sits in my favorite chair and dares me
F#m F#m(maj7) F#m7 B
But when he looks over I am making a fist
A B A B A/C# B/Eb E
One finger at a time
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