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Kenesaw Mountain Landis by Jonathan Coulton
Kenesaw Mountain Landis
Capo:no capo
Chords
D xx0232
G 3x0003
Em 022000
A7 x02020
A x02220
Bm x24432
F# 244322
Verse 1
D G
Kenesaw Mountain Landis was a bad mother fucker
D Em A7
He was seventeen feet tall, he had a hundred and fifty wives
D G
He didn't do that much except he saved the game of baseball
D G D A7
He put two and two together and he noticed it was four
D G D A7
Now the treachery of Shoeless Joe can't hurt us anymore
D G A7 D A(break)
And he'll always be remembered as Kenesaw Mountain Landis
Verse 2
D G
Fellow named Joe Jackson was a fielder for the Black Sox
D Em A7
And he always wore his black socks, but he never wore no shoes
D G
He weren't the nicest fellow and he had a couple problems
D G D A7
Cause he drank a lot and he beat his wife and he always acted rude
D G D A7
He killed and ate some babies and he copped an attitude
D G A7 D A(break)
And the one man that he hated most was Kenesaw Mountain Landis
Bridge 1
Bm
Mafia said Shoeless Joe
F#
You should really run this show
D
You should be the guy who owns baseball
Bm
And all you really gotta do
F#
Is help us make a buck or two
D G A7
We'll bet on the other team
D G A7
You'll lose the game but make it seem
D G A7
Like nothing could be further from the truth
Verse 3
D G
Shoeless Joe did what they said he dropped a couple fly balls
D Em A7
And he walked up to the pitcher and he poked him in the eye
D G
And in the seventh inning with the Black Sox nearly beaten
D G D A7
There was someone who was watching from his blimp above the stands
D G D A7
Cradling a rifle in his thick and meaty hands
D G A D A(break)
And as if you hadn't guessed yet it was Kenesaw Mountain Landis
Bridge 2
Bm
Kenesaw said drop that glove
F#
Or I swear by God above
D
I'll make you regret playing baseball
Bm
Shoeless Joe looked up and saw
F#
The silver rifle's gaping maw
D G A7
Though no one had noticed yet
D G A7
His underwear was getting wet
D G A7
He peed himself in front of everyone
Slow Verse
D G
Shoeless Joe was finished but he couldn't quite admit it
D Em A7
So he raised his middle finger up above the other four
D G
Kenesaw took careful aim and fired a single bullet
D G D A7
And he shot that dirty finger off and he dropped his trusty gun
D G D A7
And everybody in the stands knew that he had won
D G A7 D
And today they still refer to him as Kenesaw Mountain Landis
Final Verse
D G
Shoeless Joe left baseball and became a famous pop star
D Em A7 D
And he asked the musical question is she really going out with him
G
He had a couple albums and a comeback in the 80's
D G D A7
But he never won a Grammy and he never was the same
D G D A7
And he never could be satisfied with critical acclaim
D G A7 D A7
Cause the critics all confused him with the great Elvis Costello
D G A7 D
Yes the critics all confused him with the great Elvis Costello
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