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F**k Everything by Jon Lajoie
F**k Everything
Tuning:E A D G B E
Capo:no capo
Chord Progression Throughout: Am F E
Yo. All the rappers claim to not give a fuck.
Well, step aside bitches, 'cause I give the lowest amount of fuck humanly
possible.
What?!
Am
(I don't a give a fuck...)
About anything, fuck everyone and fuck everything, what
(I don't give a fuck...)
F E
I literally don't give a fuck about anything
Am
I don't give a fuck about motherfuckin' anything
People care about shit, I say fuck everything
F
Fuck you, fuck me, fuck the sky, fuck trees, fuck the sun
E
I don't need heat or Vitamin D!
Am
And fuck toasters. I don't need to cook my bread
And fuck coasters. I use a little plate instead
And fuck roosters. With their useless cockadoodledoo
F E
We invented the alarm clocks. We no longer need you
Am
Don't give a fuck about chairs. I prefer to stand
And fuck air conditioners - I got a ceiling fan
And fuck the the movie The Fan, starring Wesley Snipes
F E
Demolition Man's the only Snipes movie I like
Am
And fuck liking shit. I don't even like the stuff that I like
Don't give a fuck about not liking all the shit I don't like
Like tissues. Fuck them! I blow my nose on the couch
F E
And fuck my nostrils and my sense of smell, I breathe through my mouth
Am
Don't give a fuck about seeing bitch, fuck my eyes
Fuck visual perception yo, I'd rather be blind
Fuck time, seconds are too short and minutes are a joke
F E
And hours are way too long, they should be half an hour at most
Am
And fuck coasts, who gives a fuck about where water meets land
And fuck boats, just because you float you think you're so fucking bad
And fuck jokes, I don't need to be funny all the time
F E
My dog has a tumor and he's probably gonna die, but...
Chorus- Am F E
Am
Walked into a coffee shop and ordered a cup
The girl says "Small, medium, large?"
I say "Bitch, I don't give a fuck"
She said "I can't process your order if you don't pick a size"
F E
I said "Fine, I'll take a large, but I still don't give a fuck, alright?"
Am
Don't give a fuck about beverage size options motherfucker
And I don't give a fuck about liquids either
They're all wet and shit and tend to spill all over the place
F E
Like human semen when I get it all over my face
Am
I'm not gay, I just don't give a fuck about straight sex
And fuck my dick, I'll pee and cum out of my mouth instead
Fuck biological functions, fuck the human body
F E
I prefer the body of a bat with the head of a coyote
Am
I call myself "Batyote" and I fight crime at night
I know it's similar to Batman but motherfuck copyright
I plagiarize all the time, I do it every day
F E
'Cause I'm on the right track baby, I was born this way
Am
And fuck birth, entering the world of space and time is a bitch
Searching for purpose in the random universe sucks dick
Is it deterministic or am I free to choose my way
F E
Did I choose to not give a fuck about ice cube trays
Am
If I want ice I'll go to the fucking corner store and buy a bag
Filling you up and waiting for the water to freeze is a motherfucking drag
You know what? Fuck the word fuck, I don't need to use it
F E
I'll replace it with the word chainsaw for this chorus
Am
(I don't a give a chainsaw...)
About anything, chainsaw everyone and chainsaw everything, what
(I don't give a chainsaw...)
F E
I literally don't give a chainsaw about anything
Am
If there was a contest to see who doesn't give a fuck the most
I wouldn't win 'cause I don't give a fuck about winning yo
I don't even give a fuck about not giving a fuck,
F E
so I do give a fuck... wait, what?
Am
(I give a fuck...)
About everything, I love everyone and care about everything
(I give a fuck...)
F E
I literally care about every motherfucking thing
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