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The Vasectomy Song by John Williamson
The Vasectomy Song
Tuning:E A D G B E
Key:F
Capo:no capo
[Intro]
F Bb C F
[Verse]
F Bb
It's just a modern world we live in,
F C
but why do they pick on me
F
Why just the other week
Bb F
my missus had the cheek
G C
to talk me into a va-sec-tom-y
F Bb F
At first it never clicked that I was gettin' nicked,
F C
I thought it was to test virility
F
Than after I went through it,
Bb F
ten days we couldn't do it
G C
and then the doctor said to me
(I couldn't believe it folks - He said)
[Chorus]
F Bb
please blow into this bag, please sir (What?)
F C
to test your capability (I beg your pardon?)
F Bb
we're cutting down on accidents (I said are you fair dinkum He said )
F C F
please blow into this bag and we'll see
[Spoken]
F
Well - I couldn't believe it at first but you know what they say about doctors
orders.
F
So he gave me the little bag and ushered me into the little room with all the
pin-ups.
F
Grubby little room it was, too, and I came back with my little bag
F
And the doctor was quite satisfied, and so was I
[Verse]
F Bb
It's just a modern world we live in,
F C
there's new fangled things every day
F
The cop said I was speedin',
Bb F
accordin' to his readin'
G C
But I was three kilometres away
F Bb F
I was feelin' pretty mad when he took out his pad,
F C
I tried to stay as calm as I could be
F Bb F
He found a baldy tread, he saw my eyes were red
G C
And then he said this strange thing to me (I said what again? He said )
[Chorus]
F Bb
please blow into this bag, please sir (I said hang on)
F C
to test your capability (What?)
F Bb
we're cutting down on accidents (I said are you fair dinkum? He said )
F C F
please blow into this bag and we'll see
[Spoken]
F
Well this time I really was shaken up, the cop could see I was a bit excited
F
He said well you better take a good grip on yourself son.
F
So I went around behind a big gum tree and came back with my little bag.
F
Well you can imagine what happened
{Verse}
F Bb
It's just a modern world we live in,
F C
I'm feelin' very sad and pale
F Bb F
The judge said I was sick and threw me in the nick
G C
And missus said she wouldn't pay the bail
F Bb
So take it from a fool like me,
F C
beware of quacks and boys in blue
F Bb F
I'm feelin' pretty bruised so don't you get confused
G C
I'd catch a train if I was you-ou (All together now )
[Outro]
F Bb
please blow into this bag, please sir
F C
Ahh, It sends a shiver down my spine
F Bb
Please blow into this bag, please sir
F C Bb F
If the women don't get you, it's the wine
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