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I Saw A White Lady Standing On The Street Just Sobbing (And I Think About It Once A Week) by John Mulaney
I Saw A White Lady Standing On The Street Just Sobbing (And I Think About It Once A Week)
Tuning:E A D G B E
Capo:no capo
*=strum once
[ALEX J.]
N.C
I saw a white lady standin' on the street just sobbin'
And I think about it once a week
[Intro]
E---- A/E* E----A/E*
[Verse]
G#m C#m
It was two years ago
A B
Christmas time, foot of snow
G#m C#m
Passing through Union Square
A B* E---- A/E*
And I saw this crying white lady just kin-da standin' there
E----- A/E*
Funny, what if instead of getting on the subway with my entire class for our
field trip to look at bugs,
E---- A/E*
I'd walked over
G#m C#m
I approach, she's demure
A B G#m
She thinks "Who is this four-foot bachelor?"
C#m
So my hand I extend
A B* E---- A/E*
And say, "I'm Alex J. and you look like you need a friend
[Verse]
G#m C#m
Why are you crying in a public place?
G#m C#m
Perhaps a friend of yours was fake to your face
G#m C#m
Or did you just come from Trader Joe's
A B*
And you paid too much for your avocados?"
G#m C#m
No Kleenex in her purse
A B
I've a handkerchief for her
G#m C#m
Of course, monogrammed, "Alex J"
A B* E---- A/E*
"Keep it, ma'am, 'cause you're just havin' one of those days."
E----
I understand
F
She takes my hand
[Verse]
Am Dm
We walk uptown and dine at Au Bon Pain
Am Dm
I talk of Sherlock Gnomes from beginning to end
Am Dm Bb
Then suddenly I say, "What's that sound I hear?
C* Am
Your love-ly laugh, my dear"
Dm
Ya got problems and I don't wanna delve
Am Dm
You're a grownup and I'm barely 12
Am Dm
Expel your problems, I can help you with coping
Bb C-----
Look me in the eye and the floodgates will open
[Bridge]
[ANNALEIGH ASHFORD]
Eb
They're phasing out my department
Eb/C#
And I will lose my apartment
Eb/C
My mom is no support system
B
I like bad guys, can't resist them
Eb
Forgot to DVR Drag Race
Eb/C#
My friend Elise is fake to my face
Eb/C
Some fraud made them freeze my Amex
B
And then I ran into my ex
G# G#/A Bb B G#m
And some days, this city and de Blasio just make me scream "Why!"
G#m Eb Ab/Eb
Why not just stand here and cry?
[ALEX, spoken]
N.C
And also this whole time I'm wearing my dad's fancy scarf and my Heelys
[Verse]
[ALEX & ANNALEIGH ASHFORD]
G#m C#m
Her eyes glisten
A B
I don't talk, I listen
G#m C#m
Then the rain starts again
A B* E---- A/E*
We scurry down the street into another Au Bon Pain
Am Dm
She takes my handkerchief from her purse
Am Dm
She says, "Alex J, I feel like I'm cursed."
Am Dm
"Lady, I know that the sky isn't clear
Am Dm
But it cannot rain every day of the year
Am Dm
Can't just be crying in your own narrative?
Bb C* F---- Bb/F
Because we tell ourselves stories in order to live."
[Verse]
Am Dm
She nods, "Joan Didion"
Bb C Am
I take her hand, to Le Pain Quotidien
Dm Bb C*
And we talk about life and love and Sherlock Gnomes
F---- Bb/F
Until it's time to go home
[Verse]
Am Dm
That's what I think would happen
Bb C
But it's all imagined
Am Dm
And I will wonder 'til the end
Bb C* F---- Bb/F*
What if I hadn't walked away, would that crying lady be my friend?
F---- Bb/F*
Anyway, I remember all sorts of things
Thanks for listening
Bb Bb/B C
And where ever you are, lady, have a good night
F
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