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The Cum Face Song by Joe Black
The Cum Face Song
Tuning:G C E A
Capo:no capo
G B7
I'd like to sing a song about a face that's rather wrong
C Cm
The climax of a steamy night at home
G B7
The moment of excitement and the ending is in sight
C Cm
Your gurning and your twitching really gives me quite a fright
G B7
I worry for a second that you're suffering alone
C Cm
But then I have to watch you and we both begin to moan
G B7
But for entirely different reasons, and I need to make this clear
C Cm
Your cum face really puts me off, and it fills me full of fear
[Chorus]
G B7
In the moment of ejaculation, when your semen's circulating
C Cm
You look like you're about to have a stroke
G B7
It's frightening to witness and I make a mental block
C Cm
Of that awful face you're pulling when you're shooting out your (pause optional)
cock
G B7
I know it seems confusing when I'm blindfolding myself
C Cm
But if I watch much longer now, I'll worry for my health
G B7
Often when we're frightened, we seize up and we turn stiff (hold uke vertical)
C (let ring) Cm (let ring)
Witnessing your cum face is the opposite of this (lower uke; "visual
representation")
Instrumental
(run through the chords while making orgasmic faces and noises for a few bars,
speed up
toward the end, make it up as you go)
G B7
So I've found a nice conclusion to the pre-DICK-ament at hand (wink)
C Cm G C (strum open C string)
I find that if I turn you round, well that's just grand.
(alternative verse and ending)
C B7
It looks like someone whispered bad news into your ear
C Cm
Perhaps your mum's a hostage and they've killed the poor old dear
G B7
I understand you're having fun, and that's alright with me
C Cm
But that awful face you're pulling is really not the key
G B7
To enjoy these final moments while you're emptying your load
C Cm
You see, that face you're pulling, it reminds me of a toad)
G B7
In the moment of ejaculation, when your semen's circulating
C Cm
You look like you're about to have a stroke
G B7
It's frightening to witness and I make a mental block
C Cm
Of that awful face you're pulling when you're shooting out your (pause optional)
cock
(instrumental as above to end the song)
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