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Lift Girls Lament by Jeremy Taylor
Lift Girls Lament
Tuning:E A D G B E
Key:D
Capo:no capo
D
Going up
D
First floor
D
Knitwear, napiery, beachwear, sportswear,corsetry, millinery, ladies underwear...
D
thank yoooou going up...
[Verse 1]:
D
We are the lift girls
A
In a big department store.
A
We kindly take the patrons
D
Going up from floor to floor.
D
Don't wonder if we're weary
G
Of standing up all day,
A
Cause when the doors fly open
G D
It's our job to say
D
Second floor
D
Glassware, ironware, hardware, brushware, crockery, cutlery and Fandango Tea room
D
Refreshments: Lemonade, orange juice, milkshakes, arsenic and rat poison
D
Thank yoooou going up
[Verse 2]:
D
We are the lift girls
A
We're careful how we dress
A
I like my job but I''d very much rather
D
Have been an air hostess.
D
But as I was always airsick
G
And I couldn't pass the test
A
I stand here pushing buttons
G D
And the lift does all the rest.
D
Third floor
D
Cosmetics, perfumes and colognes, ribbons, handbags, shopping baskets
D
Buttons, belts, teen and twenty dresses,
D
Thank yooou...going up...
D
Ah excuse me, ma'am, can I find glasses on this floor?
D
Glassware, ironware, hardware, brushware, crockery, cutlery and Fandango Tearoom
D
Second floor. Uh are you perhaps going down?
D
going up!
[Verse 3]
D
Ag sies, tog Marlene
A
What a hell of a job this is.
A
The boss won't even give us time
D
To go and have a zizz.
D
And while on the job
G
We can't even have a smoke
A
Ag I'm so tired man
G D
I'd give anything for a Coke.
D
Fourth floor
D
Kiddies wear, juvenile, children and subteens, teens, twenties
D
Middle age, old age, senility, dotage, decomposition
D
Thank yoooou, Funeral shrouds...Going up...
[Verse 4]
D
Don't lean on the buttons please
A
Don't lean on the doors
A
The car's full up now so you'll have to
D
Walk to the other floors.
D
Hey, take your hands off me
G
Who do you think you are.
A
I may do a thousand feet a day
G D
But I'm not going to go that far.
D
Fifth floor
D
Radio department, electrical appliances, hairdressing salon, friendly sewing
school
D
Thank you Going up
N.C.
Sixth floor
N.C.
Offices and accounts, offices and accounts, going up.....Going Down
[Verse 5]:
D
If only I had a minute or two
A
To sit down on my seat.
A
I'm going to sue the company
D
For giving me flat feet.
D
Now I've got fallen arches
G
And lumbago in my back
A
I suppose it won't be long now
D
Before I get the sack.
D
Now when the lift gets stuck for an hour or two
A
You really can't blame me.
A
If I don't appear to symphatise
D
With your anxiety.
D
Cause I've seen enough of these four walls
G
To last for many a day
A
So when the clock says half past five
G D
I'm overjoyed to say going home.
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