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The Hole by Jake Thackray
The Hole
Tuning: E A D G B E
[Verse]
Am G Am E7 Am G Am Am
After work on Friday I was waiting for a bus.
Am G Am E7 Am G Am Am
Me mouth was dropping open and my gaze was vacuous.
G C E7 Am
And in the British worker's classic pose I was leaning on a door
F7 E7 F7 E7
When half way down the wormy woodwork quite by chance I saw a little
Am
hole...
A
...The Hole !
[Verse]
Am G Am E7 Am G Am
Well I know it sounds ridiculous, I know it's awfully odd,
Am G Am E7 Am G Am
But I suddenly felt like giving that little hole a furtive prod.
G E7 Am
So I popped my finger in and then I waggled it about.
F7 E7 F7 E7 Am
But once I'd got the bleeder in, I couldn't get the bleeder out of the hole.
A
The Hole!
[Chorus]
Am F7 Am
Just a little hole in a door, in a door,
Am G C
Opposite the bus stop of the number 74.
Am F7 Am
Suddenly my humdrum life was out of my control
Am F7 E7 Am
When I set my wretched eyes upon the hole.
[Verse]
Am G Am E7 Am G Am
Into the night I heaved and strained, but still without success.
Am G Am E7 Am G Am
Then a constable came and asked me for me name and me address.
G C E7 Am
He said "I can pull you in for loitering and maliciously lingering
F7 E7 F7 E7
"And, furthermore, you're not supposed to have your finger in that there
Am
'ole."
A
The Hole!
[Chorus]
Am F7 Am
Just a little hole in a door, in a door.
Am G C
How was I to know that I was breaking the law?
Am F7 Am
They sent a big Alsatian and a vice squad patrol
Am F7 E7 Am
When they heard about my finger and the hole.
[Verse]
Am G Am E7 Am G Am
A crowd sprang up, the streets were full, the public formed a queue.
Am G Am E7 Am G Am
The national press and the BBC got ready to interview.
G C E7 Am
They said, "Just smile, please, for the cameras, and do stop fidgeting.
F7 E7 F7 E7 Am
"Now, tell the world just what it feels like with your digit inside a hole."
A
The Hole!
[Chorus]
Am F7 Am
Just a little hole in a door, in a door.
Am G C
Small, dark recess; nothing less, nothing more.
Am F7 Am
It may seem quite absurd but it is anything but droll,
Am F7 E7 Am
Posing for your picture with your finger up a hole!
[Verse]
Am G Am E7 Am G Am
And then they sent a special doctor with a special rubber glove,
Am G Am E7 Am G Am
And a very special finger and a very special shove.
G C E7 Am
And he stroked around and groped around, and wrote down in his book
F7 E7 F7 E7 Am
"The patient is doing nicely, but he's got his finger stuck up a hole."
A
The Hole!
[Chorus]
Am F7 Am
Just a little hole in a door, in a door.
Am G C
Up came the Fire Brigade with choppers galore.
Am F7 Am
The door flew off its hinges; it was quite a rigmarole.
Am F7 E7 Am
They took us off to prison: me, the door, and the hole.
[Verse]
Am G Am E7 Am G Am
And then when I appeared in court, I cried "M'Lud, it isn't fair!
Am G Am E7 Am G Am
"Man will always poke up holes, m'Lud, because they're there!
G C E7 Am
"I'm innocent! I've drunk too deeply from life's bitter cup;
F7 E7 F7 E7 Am
"And if you don't believe me, get yer worshipful finger up any old hole."
A
The Hole!
[Outro]
Am F7 Am
Just a little hole in a door, in a door.
Am G C
Seems I've got to live with it for now and evermore.
Am F7 Am
So, vicar, come and give a wash-and-brush-up to me soul,
Am F7 E7 E7 E7 E7 Am
'Cos I'm off to meet me Maker with me finger up an ev-er-las-ting hole.
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