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Leopold Alcocks by Jake Thackray Leopold Alcocks Tuning: E A D G B E Capo: 2nd fret LIVE VERSION- This is based on a live performance, with extra verses not recorded in the studio version, breezier and slightly more uptempo, with much simpler chords in the intro and breaks. Time signature: 3/4 (waltz time) CAPO: 2nd fret (Will then sound in the key of A) Chord names and fret positions are relative to the capo: G = 320003 C = x32010 D7 = xx0101 Bm7 = x24232 E7 = 022130 Ddim = xx0101 Am7 = x02010 ^ = Emphasise the beat [Intro] G D7 G D7 | / / / | / / / | / / / | / / / | [Verse 1] G E7 Am7 Leopold Alcocks, my distant re - lation, D7 G Came to my flat, for a brief visi - tation, D7 G E7 Am7 He's been here since Februa - ry, damn and blast him, D7 G G My nerves, and my furniture, may not out - last him! ^ ^ [Verse 2] C Bm7 Am7 Bm7 Leopold Alcocks is accident prone, E7 Am7 D7 G He's lost my bathplug, he's ruptured my telephone, D7 C Bm7 Am7 Bm7 My anti - rrhinums, my motorbikes, my sofa, E7 Am7 D7 G G There isn't anything he can't trip o - ver! ^ ^ [Verse 3] G D7 G E7 Am7 As he roams through my rooms, all my pussycats scatter, D7 G My statuettes tremble, then plummet, then shatter, D7 G E7 Am7 My tablelamps tumble with grim regu - larity, D7 G G My cut-glass has crumbled, and so has my chari - ty! ^ ^ [Verse 4] C Bm7 Am7 Bm7 Leopold Alcocks, an uncanny creature, E7 Am7 D7 G He can't take tea without some misad - venture, Ddim C Bm7 Am7 Bm7 He looks up from his teacup, with a smirk on his features, E7 Am7 D7 G And a slice of my porcelain between his dentures! [Verse 5] G D7 G E7 Am7 He's upset my goldfish, he's jinxed my wis - teria, D7 G My budgie's gone broody, my tortoise has hys - teria, D7 G E7 Am7 He cleans my teapots, my saucepans, with 'Brasso', D7 G G And leaves chocolate fingerprints on my Pi - cas - so! ^ ^ [Verser 6] C Bm7 Am7 Bm7 Leopold Alcocks, never known to fail, E7 Am7 D7 G Working his way through my fake 'Chippen - dales', C Bm7 Am7 Bm7 One blow from his thighs, which are fearsomely strong, E7 Am7 D7 G Would easily fracture the wing of a swan! [Verse 7] G D7 G E7 Am7 I brought home my bird for some Turkish mous - saka, D7 G Up looms old Leopold, I know when I'm knackered, D7 G E7 Am7 He spills the vino, the great eager beaver, D7 G Drenching her jump-suit and my 'joie de vivre'! [Verse 8] C Bm7 Am7 Bm7 Leopold Alcocks, stirring my spleen, E7 Am7 D7 G You are the grit in my life's 'Vasel -ine', C Bm7 Am7 Bm7 A pox on you, Alcocks, you've been here since Feb'ry, E7 Am7 D7 G Go home and leave me a - lone with my debris! [Break] G D7 G D7 | / / / | / / / | / / / | / / / | [Verse 9] G E7 Am7 So Leopold Alcocks, my distant re - lation, D7 G Has gone away home, after his visi - tation, D7 G E7 Am7 I glimpsed him waving bye -bye this last minute, D7 G G Waving his hand, with my door knob still in it! ^ ^ ------------------ version 2 Basically the same as the live version, but abridged, and with different chords in the intro and the breaks. A slightly smoother performance, with the double beat at the end of each verse not emphasised as in the live version. Time signature: 3/4 (waltz time) CAPO: 2nd fret (Will then sound in the recorded key of A) Chord names and fret positions are relative to the capo: Gadd9 = xx5435 G = 320003 E7 = 022130 G * = xx5433 D7 = xx0212 Bm7 = x23232 Dm7/A = x00211 Am7 = x02010 Dm7 = xx0211 D7 = xx0212 G6 = 320000 [Intro] Gadd9 G * Dm7/A D7 | / / / | / / / | / / / | / / / | [Verse 1] G E7 Am7 Leopold Alcocks, my distant re - lation, D7 G Came to my flat, for a brief visi - tation, G E7 Am7 He's been here since Februa - ry, damn and blast him, D7 G G6 G My nerves, and my furniture, may not out - last him! [Verse 2] C Bm7 Am7 Bm7 Leopold Alcocks is accident prone, E7 Am7 D7 G He's lost my bathplug, he's ruptured my telephone, C Bm7 Am7 Bm7 My anti - rrhinums, my motorbikes, my sofa, E7 Am7 D7 G Gadd9 Dm7 There isn't anything he can't trip over! | / / / | / / / | [Verse 3] D7 G E7 Am7 He's upset my goldfish, he's jinxed my wis - teria, D7 G My budgie's gone broody, my tortoise has hys - teria, G E7 Am7 He cleaned my teapots, my saucepans, with 'Brasso', D7 G And left chocolate fingerprints on my Pi - casso! [Verse 4] C Bm7 Am7 Bm7 Leopold Alcocks, an uncanny creature, E7 Am7 D7 G He can't take tea without some misad - venture, C Bm7 Am7 Bm7 He looks up from his teacup, with a smirk on his features, E7 Am7 D G Gadd9 Dm7 And a slice of my porcelain between his dentures! | / / / | / / / | [Verse 5] D7 G E7 Am7 I brought home my bird for some Turkish mous - saka, D7 G Up looms old Leopold, I know when I'm knackered, G E7 Am7 He spills the vino, the great eager beaver, D7 G Drenching her jump-suit and my 'joie de vivre'! [Verse 6] C Bm7 Am7 Bm7 Leopold Alcocks, stirring my spleen, E7 Am7 D7 G You are the grit in my life's 'Vasel - ine', C Bm7 Am7 Bm7 A pox on you, Alcocks, you've been here since Feb'ry, E7 Am7 D7 G Go home, and leave me a - lone with my debris! Gadd9 G * Dm7/A D7 | / / / | / / / | / / / | / / / | [Verse 7] D7 G E7 Am7 So Leopold Alcocks, my distant re - lation, D7 G Has gone away home, after his visi - tation, G E7 Am7 I glimpsed him waving bye -bye this last minute, D7 G Waving his hand, with my door knob still in it! -----------