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The Last Lager Waltz by Kevin Bloody Wilson
The Last Lager Waltz
Capo: 5th fret
TALKING BIT...
Is this bloody thing on?
If I can have your attention please, uh,
Gentlemen would you like to select your partners for the last dance
of the evening, thank you.
INTRO G , G G G D D D G G G , G
G C G
I'm tryin' to waltz and I can't even walk,
G D
I'm wrecked I'm a mess and, can hardly talk,
G C
Two steps to the south and three to the north,
D G G D G
Doin' the last lager waltz.
G C G
Saturday night and I'm legless again,
G D
A bottle of bundy and two dozen cans,
G C
But the hoonin' and boozin' are nearin' an end,
D G Em
And we're down to the last lager waltz.
D G
One two three one two three *burp*
G D
Excuse me please, thought it was a fart,
C D G G D G
doin' the last lager waltz.
G C G
Better go for a slash 'for the end of the dance,
G D
Then again I might sit here and just piss me pants,
G C
But I done that already so I'll go to the gents
D G Em
While the band plays the last lager waltz.
D G
One two three one two three, (aaaaggghhh!)
G D G
Wrong dunny, you meet some nice sheilas sometimes,.. at the last
G D G
lager waltz.
G C G
I'm back from out back and I'm back in the hall,
G D
But everyone's starin' as I cross the floor,
G C
Better zip meself up before he catches a cold,
D G Em
And get on with the last lager waltz.
D G
One two three one two three, now you get in there,
G D
Please, and pull yer head in
C D G G D G
while I'm doin' the last lager waltz.
G C G
Just settled down but I'm off again quick,
G D
And head back out back, 'cause I'm gonna be sick,
G C
The room's spinnin' and turnin an' I'm feeling like shit
D G Em
I'm chucking the last lager waltz.
D G
One two three one two three, (CRASH !)...Jeez !
D G
Don't step on the pies and the cakes
D G G D G
in the last lager waltz.
G C G
I can't recall how but I'm here in the yard,
G D
Oops sorry mate did I chuck on your car?
G C
I really didn't think I could chunder that far,
D G Em
That's pretty good for the last lager waltz.
D G
One two three one two three, (thump!)
G D
He hit me! you shouldn't drink if you get nasty
G G D G
at the last lager waltz.
G C G
I'm tryin' to crawl 'cause I can't even walk,
G D
Me mouth is all swollen and me ribs are all sore,
G C
I've never had, this much fun before
D G Em
It's great at the last lager waltz.
D
One two three one two three,
G D
Think I'll go to sleep, yes curl up right here and dream of the last
G G D G
lager waltz.
G C G
I'm tryin' to waltz, and I can't even walk,
G D
I'm wrecked, I'm a mess and me lips are all sore,
G C
Two steps to the south, and three to the north,
D G G G G D D D G G G , G
And we're doin' the last lager waltz. (O U T R O .........!)
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