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The Man Who Couldn't Cry by Loudon Wainwright III
The Man Who Couldn't Cry
Tuning: E A D G B E
[Intro]
A G D A
[Verse 1]
G D
There once was a man who just couldn't cry
A
He hadn't cried for years & for years
G
Napalmed babies & the movie 'Love Story'
A E
For instance could not produce tears
D A G
As a child he had cried as all children will
A
But at some point the tear ducts ran dry
G
He grew to be a man & the feces hit the fan
D A
Things got bad but he couldn't cry
[Verse 2]
G D
His dog got run over, his wife up & left him
A
After that he got sacked from his job
G D
Lost an arm in the war, was laughed at by a whore
A E
But still not a sniffle & sob
D A G
Well his novel was refused & his movie was banned
A
And his big Broadway show was a flop
G D
He was sent off to jail, you guessed it, no bail
A
But still not a dribble or drop
[Verse 3]
G D
In jail he was beaten, bullied & buggered
A
And made to make licence plates
G D
Water & bread was all he was fed
A E
But not once did a tear stain his face
D A G
Doctors were called in, scientists too
A
Theologians were last & practically least
G
They all agreed sure enough
D
He was no cream puff
A
But in fact an insensitive beast
[Solo]
A G D A x2
[Verse 4]
G D
He was removed from jail & placed in a place
A
For the insensitive & the insane
G D
He played lots of chess & he made lots of friends
A
And he wept every time it would rain
E D A G
Well once it rained 40 days & it rained 40 nights
A
And he cried and he cried and he cried and he cried
G D
On the 41st day he just passed away
A
He just dehydrated & died
[Verse 5]
G D
He went up to heaven located his dog
A
Not only that but he rejoined his arm
G D
Down below all the critics, they took it all back
A E
Cancer robbed the whore of her charm
D A G
His ex-wife died of stretch marks, his ex-employer went broke
A
The theologians were finally found out
G D
Right down to the ground, the prison burned down
A
The earth suffered perpetual drought
[Outro]
A G D A x2
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