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Bo Burnham by Left Brain, Right Brain
Bo Burnham
Tuning: E A D G B E
Key: E
[Intro]
N.C.
Okay, um, we're moving right along here, um...
Hello, patient 24602
I'm sorry, hello. How are—
How are you feeling?
Um, not great
Has the treatment been working?
Uh, I don't think so, no
What are your remaining symptoms?
I just, I—I internalize my feelings a lot, I have trouble articulating how I'm feeling to other people,
I feel like I just, I'm—
So basically, you're still a little bitch
Yes, very mature of you, disembodied voice way up there
I was just joking, nigga
Alright, you're not as safe in Wisconsin as you might think with that shit
I'm not human, I can say whatever I want
Alright, just, just get to the point, what's wrong with me? Please, please
Your emotion and logic are at war
Your creativity and analysis are at war, and most simply, your left and right brain are at war
My left and my ri—
To fix the problem, we must separate them from each other
Sep—
Splitting your neurological functions in
5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
Well, we book an appointment or something? You don't just start counting down to major medical procedures
This may hurt a bit
I don't know what it is. Just tell me what you're—
N.C.
Isolation complete
N.C.
This is Bo's Left Brain: objective, logical, cold, analytical. Aware of patterns, aware of trends.
He's efficient, and a prick
E A E B E A E
This is Bo's Right Brain: subjective, creative, sensory. Aware of feelings, aware of people.
B E
He's emotional, and an idiot
A
That's your opinion, just, careful with opinions
B
Okay boys, play nice
[Verse 1]
E
I am the Left Brain, I am the Left Brain
A
I work really hard until my inevitable death brain
E B E
You got a job to do, you better do it right in the right way with the Left Brain's might
A E B
I like Oreos and pussy, yes! In that order!
E A C#m B
And I cried for at least an hour after watching Toy Story 3, Woody!
E A E B E
I am the Right Brain, I have feelings, I'm a little all over the place
A C#m B
But I'm lustful and trustful and I'm looking for somebody to love or put my penis in
E
Here comes a female, here comes a female
A
Puff your chest out, take your phone out and check your email
E B
Our evolutionary purpose is repopulate
E
So gather data now and see if she's a possible mate
B
Holy fuck, I think she might be the one
A C#m
There's something about her, I just can't describe it
N.C.
Tits
E B
I am the earth, she's the glorious sun
A C#m
I want her to trust me and I just want her to—how do I say this? Sit on my face? Sit—SIT ON MY FACE!
E
Alright now, Right Brain, you're being insane
B C#m
No, Left Brain, I'm just being alive
A
You should try it, you might like it
E A
I worked hard to give him everything he cared about
E
You were worried 'bout the things he was scared about
B
I'm calm and collected when you act wild
E
I am the adult, you are child
B
You think you're the right one every time
A C#m E
You think you know everything but you don't know anything at all
B
Half of his problems were supposed to be mine
A
But you wanted everything
C#m
I hope that you're happy, 'cause he's sure not
[Verse 2]
E A B
Well according to my calculations, I'm sorry, let me run the numbers again, um, you're a pussy
E
Name calling, really? You're gonna just do name calling?
A B
I'm name calling names alright, I'm just stating facts, and the fact is, you're a quivering pussy
E
I'm the pussy? Well at least I don't play with toys still, okay
A B
Rubix cubes are not toys alright, they keep my spatial reasoning skills sharp
E A B
Left Brain plays with toys! Look at you! Mister, you're a toy player...
C#5
Well, at least I did my fucking job, alright? I kept him working,
C#m5
I kept him productive You were supposed to look after him,
you were supposed to keep him emotionally stable for all this.
A5 B5
Now you're trying to blame me for how he's feeling, how he's feeling!
A5 B5
If he's feeling unhappy it's because you failed him.
A5 B5
You did this to him, he hates you I know he does, he fucking hates you!
[Bridge]
C#m E
*sobs*
D
Right brain, look, I'm sorry, okay?
N.C.
No you're not
[Interlude]
C#m E D G#
[Verse 3]
C#m E A E
Look, maybe there's something that we could do together
Together?
C#m E A E
Take the best parts of both of us, put them together
I'm listening
C#m A E B
It would let you let your feelings out, it would let me analyze
C#m A E B
So you could man the themes, I'll man the form
C#m A E B
It's something that George Carlin did, it's something that Steve Martin did
C#m A B
It's something special that we could both perform, do you know what it is?
N.C.
Juggling! We could juggle and juggle our cares away!
It was—it was comedy, we could do comedy together, and—
Initiating reassembly
G5
Alright, Left—Right brain, look, we’re gonna do comedy together alright? We gotta do comedy
Alright, alright, Left Brain, I'll do comedy with you
A5 C#5
Look, we can fix him like this, we can make him happy again, I promise, alright?
Reformation in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
A5 B5
Left Brain... Left Brain, I love you!
D5 E5 F#5
I know
N.C.
Experimentation complete
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