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Uncle Joes Mint Balls by Mike Harding
Uncle Joes Mint Balls
Capo on 4 for correct key = E.
Intro = C
Verse 1
C G
Now there’s a place in Wigan a place you all should know
C
A busy little factory where things are all the go
F
They don’t make Jakes or Eccles Cakes or things to stick on walls
G C
But night and day they work away at Uncle Joe’s Mint Balls
Chorus
C G
'Cos Uncle Joe’s Mint Balls keep you all aglow
C
Give ‘em to your grannie and watch the buggar go
F
Away with coughs and sniffles take a few in hand
G C
Suck ‘em and see you’ll agree they're the best in all the land
Verse 2
C G
Me dad has always wanted curly hair on his bald head
C
Suck an Uncle Joe’s Mint Ball that’s what the doctor said
F
So he got an Uncle Joe’s Mint Ball and sucked it all night long
G C
When he got up next morning he’d hairs all over his tongue
Chorus
C G
'Cos Uncle Joe’s Mint Balls keep you all aglow
C
Give ‘em to your grannie and watch the buggar go
F
Away with coughs and sniffles take a few in hand
G C
Suck ‘em and see you’ll agree they're the best in all the land
Verse 3
C G
Me Uncle Albert passed away from ale upon the brain
C
The doctors said that he were dead and would never walk again
F
So they gave the corpse an Uncle Joe’s and then stood back aghast
G C
'Cos the corpse jumped up and ran to the pub and spent the insurance brass
Chorus
C G
'Cos Uncle Joe’s Mint Balls keep you all aglow
C
Give ‘em to your grannie and watch the buggar go
F
Away with coughs and sniffles take a few in hand
G C
Suck ‘em and see you’ll agree they're the best in all the land
Verse 4
C G
Me granny said me granddad ‘e were gettin’ old and slow
C
And fire in grandad’s boiler ‘ad gone out long ago
F
So ‘e got an Uncle Joe’s Mint Ball sucked it all the night
G C
But his hot breath singed her vest and set the bed alight
Chorus
C G
'Cos Uncle Joe’s Mint Balls keep you all aglow
C
Give ‘em to your grannie and watch the buggar go
F
Away with coughs and sniffles take a few in hand
G C
Suck ‘em and see you’ll agree they're the best in all the land
Verse 5
C G
We ‘ad a pigeon it were bald and couldn’t fly too fast
C
Never won places in the races always come in last
F
Though it were bald no feathers at all it won a race one day
G C
We give it an Uncle Joe’s Mint Ball and it ran al’t bloody way
Chorus
C G
'Cos Uncle Joe’s Mint Balls keep you all aglow
C
Give ‘em to your grannie and watch the buggar go
F
Away with coughs and sniffles take a few in hand
G C
Suck ‘em and see you’ll agree they're the best in all the land
Verse 6
C G
I had a girl her name was May in passion she were lackin’
C
Fed ‘er with whisky to make ‘er frisky still she wouldn’t get crackin’
F
So I gave her an Uncle Joe’s Mint Ball to get ‘er all aglow
G C
Now she combs the streets of Wigan looking for Uncle Joe
Chorus
C G
'Cos Uncle Joe’s Mint Balls keep you all aglow
C
Give ‘em to your grannie and watch the buggar go
F
Away with coughs and sniffles take a few in hand
G C
Suck ‘em and see you’ll agree they're the best in all the land
Verse 7
C G
We gave some to the coalman’s ‘orse as it stood in the road
C
It gave a cough then beggared off with it’s cart an’ load
F
It ran onto the racecourse going like a bird
G C
Covered the track with nutty slack and came first second and third
Chorus
C G
'Cos Uncle Joe’s Mint Balls keep you all aglow
C
Give ‘em to your grannie and watch the buggar go
F
Away with coughs and sniffles take a few in hand
G C
Suck ‘em and see you’ll agree they're the best in all the land
Verse 8
C G
The RSPCA have bought six tons of Uncle Joe’s
C
To give to all the animules to keep ‘em all aglow
F
Our budgie now is six foot tall the cat is eight foot three
G C
And all the poor brass monkeys are as happy as can be
Chorus
C G
'Cos Uncle Joe’s Mint Balls keep you all aglow
C
Give ‘em to your grannie and watch the buggar go
F
Away with coughs and sniffles take a few in hand
G C C
Suck ‘em and see you’ll agree they're the best....in....all....the.....l..a..n..d
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