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Kung Fu Christmas by National Lampoon
Kung Fu Christmas
[Intro]
Cmaj9
Dm7/G
Cmaj9
Fmaj7 Em7 Dm7
[Verse 1]
Cmaj9 Dm7/G
Midnight in a ghetto street
Cmaj9 Dm7/G
A desperate boy wants something to eat ('Cause he's dead on his feet)
Cmaj9 Dm7/G
To the man in the squad car, it's just his beat
Em7 Fmaj7 Fmaj9 Dm7/G
(He don't care, he don't live there
Cmaj9
He lives in Queens
Fmaj7 Em7 Dm7
Not Manhattan or the Bronx or Brook-lyn)
Cmaj9 Dm7/G
A thief on the roof, a mugger in the hall (Stick 'em up, Stick 'em up)
Cmaj9 Dm7/G
A baby on the floor eating paint off the wall (How's he gonna grow tall?)
Cmaj9 Dm7/G
But there's one time of year that brings joy to one and all
Em7 Fmaj7 Fmaj9 Dm7/G
(When every race has a smile on its face)
[Chorus 1]
Fmaj7 G/F
Junkie on the corner, the pusher uptown
Em7 Am
Digging the Yuletide, Santa's getting down
Fmaj7 G/F
Holiday colors of red and green
Em7 Am
Turkey's big and fat and the gangsta lean
Fmaj7 G/F
Numbers runner stops for a chat
Em7 Am Fmaj7 Dm7/G
The Apollo doorman tips his hat and he says:
Cmaj9
Have a Kung Fu Christmas
Fmaj7 Em Dm7
Have a Kung Fu Christma-as, ooh
[Verse 2]
Cmaj9 Dm7/G
Living in the ghetto, you always lose
Cmaj9 Dm7/G
They'll shoot you for your socks, and they'll stick you for your shoes
Cmaj9 Dm7/G
When you're a super bad dude, you pay super bad dues
Em7 Fmaj7 Fmaj9 Dm7/G
(Where fear and strife is a way of life)
Cmaj9 Dm7/G
But there's a man coming today with lots of loot
Cmaj9 Dm7/G
He's got a pimp-mo sleigh, a red and white fur suit
Cmaj9 Dm7/G
He's a Super Fly guy, and he's awful cute
Em7 Fmaj7 Fmaj9 Dm7/G
(He's about to arrive, bringing Jingle Bell jive)
[Chorus 2]
Fmaj7 G/F
Santa Claus making the Soul Train scene
Em7 Am
Slicking down his beard with Afro Sheen
Fmaj7 G/F
Eeny meeny and miney mo
Em7 Am
Frost in your hair and snow up your nose
Fmaj7 G/F
Diamond in the back, trimmed with holly
Em7 Am
My girls on the street and I'm feeling jolly
Fmaj7 G/F
Christmas Eve's coming with the last-minute bustle
Em7 Am
Santa tells the elves, "You'd better do The Hustle"
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