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Fishin Hole by Stephen Lynch
Fishin Hole
G Am(7)
Wanna have some quality time with my son
C G
So I brought him down to the fishin’ hole
G Am(7)
Didn’t like the feelin of that worm in his hand
C D
Got mad, threw down his fishin pole
G Am(7)
Said that’s all right son lets go and get an ice cream
C G
Let your old man buy you a treat
G Am(7)
But he didn’t like no flavors up upon that wall
C D
Started crying and ran into the street
G B
He’s an a**hole, my kids an a**hole
C G
I swear he just don’t float my boat
G B
Always crying, always crying,
C G
made me wanna punch him in his little throat
(that's basically the entire song, and the at the very end...)
C G
I’m on a real a**hole streak
C G
I could open an a**hole boutique
C G
I think this song has reached its peak
C G
Goodbye you a**holes, see you next week
----------------
version 2
G A
Wanna have some quality time with my son
C G
So I brought him down to the fishin' hole
G A
Didn't like the feelin' of that worm in his hand
C G
Got mad, threw down his fishin' pole
G A
Said, "That's alright, son. Let's go and get an ice cream"
C G
"Let your old man buy you a treat"
G A
But he didn't like no flavors up upon that wall
C G
Started crying, and ran into the street...
G B
He's an asshole, my kid's an asshole
C G
I swear it just don't float my boat
G B
Always crying, always crying
C G
Made me wanna punch him in his little throat
G A
Called my lady up to tell her what had happened
C G
How our son had run away
G A
She said, "Don't worry, baby, I will talk to him"
C G
"And everything will be okay"
G B
My lady's an asshole, she's an asshole
C G
Her assholishness is off the charts
G B
Always perfect, always perfect
C G
Made me wanna punch her in her lady-parts
(Whistling)
G A
I decided I'd go down to the bar
C G
And drown my sorrows in a beer
G A
But the sign outside said 'Closed For Renovations'
C G
'We'll open up again next year'...
G B
That bar is an asshole, it's an asshole
C G
Oh, the worst bar in the land!
G B
Always closing, always closing
C G
Can't punch a bar, cause you'll hurt your hand
(Whistling)
G A
I went home to forget about my troubles
C G
Sat down in my favorite easy chair
G A
But I couldn't relax for the pain I was feelin'
C G
As my hemorrhoid began to flair...
G B
My asshole's an asshole, a real butthole
C G
Needs to put his asshole-self in check!
G B
Always burning, always itching
C G
Made me wanna punch him in his asshole neck
(Whistling)
G A
Late one night, lyin' awake in bed
C G
Mmmm, a realization came
G A
Are there really assholes everywhere I look?
C G
Or am I the one to blame?
G A
Maybe I just do not say the things I should say
C G
And I don't do the things I ought to
G A
So I took a good, hard look at myself in the mirror
C G
And this is what I thought...
G B
The guy who sold me this mirror is an asshole, he's an asshole
C G
Son of a bitch said it was antique
G B
He was lyin', he was lyin'
C G
Made me wanna punch him in his salesman cheek
C G
I'm on a real asshole streak
C G
I could open up an asshole boutique
C G
I think this song has reached it's peak
C G
Goodbye, you assholes, see you next week!
----------------
version 3
G A7
Wanna have some quality time with my son
Cadd9 G
So I brought him down to the fishin’ hole
G A7
Didn’t like the feelin of that worm in his hand
Cadd9 D
Got mad, threw down his fishin pole
G A7
Said that’s all right son lets go and get an ice cream
Cadd9 G
Let your old man buy you a treat
G A7
But he didn’t like no flavors up upon that wall
Cadd9 D
Started crying and ran into the street
G B7
He’s an a**hole, my kids an a**hole
Cadd9 G
I swear he just don’t float my boat
G B7
Always crying, always crying,
Cadd9 G
made me wanna punch him in his little throat
(Play the above thoughout the entire song until the outro shown below)
Cadd9 G
I’m on a real a**hole streak
Cadd9 G
I could open an a**hole boutique
Cadd9 G
I think this song has reached its peak
Cadd9 G --> (strike hard once)
Goodbye you a**holes, see you next week
-------------