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Almighty Malachi Professional Bowling God by Stephen Lynch
Almighty Malachi Professional Bowling God
Standard E Tuning, Capo 1st Fret [All chords relative to Capo]
CHORDS USED:
A C D E G Gmaj9
e]--0----0----2----0----3----3--|
B]--2----1----3----0----0----0--|
G]--2----0----2----1----0----0--|
D]--2----2----0----2----0----0--|
A]--0----3---------2----2----0--|
E]-----------------0----3----2--|
INTRO:
B - G (x4)
VERSE 1:
B G B G B G B G
Yooouuuu watch me on your T.V.
B G B G B G B G
Saaaying that my job is easy
B G B G B G B G
Saaaying I am not athletic
B G B G B G B G Gmaj9
Yooouuuu think my sport's pathetic
E B G
But you can't judge me 'till you walked a mile in my bowling shoes
INTERLUDE:
B - G (x3)
VERSE 2:
B G B G B G B G
Sooooooo I don't get all the ladies
B G B G B G B G
Aaaannnd my clothes are from the '80s
B G B G B G B G Gmaj9
I'mmmmmm known throughout the vallies
E
As the prophet of the alleys
CHORUS 1:
A E C A E C A
And as I roll the ball I cry, "Let me bowl or let me die!"
E C G D A
I'm Almighty Malachi, the Bowling God
E C A E C A
The smell of resin gets my high, kiss those fucking pins goodbye!
E C G D B G
I'm Almighty Malachi, the Bowling, the Bowling... God
INTERLUDE:
B - G (x3)
VERSE 3:
B G B G B G B G
Goooooot a ball that's smooth and all black
B G B G B G B G
I keeeeeep it in my lucky ball-sack
B G B G B G B G Gmaj9
I geeeeeet a feeling in my soul
E
As I finger every hole...
CHORUS 2:
A E C A E C A
And as I roll the ball I cry, "Let me bowl or let me die!"
E C G D A
I'm Almighty Malachi, the Bowling God
E C A E C A
The smell of resin gets my high, kiss those fucking pins goodbye!
E C G D
I'm Almighty Malachi, the Bowling, the Bowling...
BRIDGE:
B G B G
Not a single man will try to beat Almighty Malachi
B G B G
All who challenge me are slain - "Come on, fuckers, pick a lane!"
B G B G
Marshall Holman, Gary Dickens; get in line for your ass kickins'
B G B G
John Petraglia, Norm Duke; you're so lame it makes me puke
B G B G
Who among the pro-bowl sector dares to don his wrist protector?
B G B G
Not that pussy, Nelson Burton; tells me that his wrist is hurtin'
B G B G
"Hey, Mark Roth and Earl 'The Pearl', are you scared to give the ball a hurl?"
B G B G
How about 'Dicky' Weber and his son, Pete? I'll turn the motherfuckers to cream of wheat!
CHORUS 3:
A E C A E C A
And as I roll the ball I cry, "Let me bowl or let me die!"
E C G D A
I'm Almighty Malachi, the Bowling God
E C A E C A
The smell of resin gets my high, kiss those fucking pins goodbye!
E C G D
I'm Almighty Malachi, the Bowling, the Bowling...
A E C A E C A E C G D A
The Bowling Gooooooooooooooood! Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaah! The Bowling... God
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