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The Grandmother Song by Steve Martin
The Grandmother Song
C G
Be courteous, kind, and forgiving
G7 C
Be gentle and peaceful each day
C7 F
Be warm and human and grateful
G C
And have a good thing to say
C G
Be thoughtful and trustful and optimistic
G7 C
Be witty and happy and wise
C7 F
Be honest and love all your neighbors
G C
Live in a swamp and be three dimension
C G
Be obsequious, purple and clairvoyant
C G
Be sure to stop at stop signs
G7 C
And drive fifty-five miles an hour
C7 F
Pick up hitchhikers foaming at the mouth
G C
And when you get home get a master's degree in geology
G7 C
Be pompous, obtuse and eat cactus
C7 F
Be dull and boring and omnipresent
G C
Look forward to things you don't know about
C7 F
Put a live chicken in your underwear
G C
Get all excited and go to a yawning festival
C G
(Ladies only) Never make love to Bigfoot
G7 C
(Men only) Hello, my name is Bigfoot
C7 F
(Everyone) Put a live chicken in your underwear
G C
Go into a closet and suck eggs
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