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Rectal Computer by Sexual Lobster
Rectal Computer
Tuning: Standard E
Intro
e|----10--------5--------10----- -----------------------------|
B|-10----10---5---5---10----10-- -----------------------------|
G|------------------------------*strum Am Chord*-----------------------------|
D|------------------------------ -----------------------------|
A|------------------------------ -----------------------------|
E|------------------------------ -----------------------------|
Chorus:
Am G
Rectal Computer,
Am G
Rectal Computer (Stick it in your asshole),
Am G
Rectal Computer,
Am
Rectal Computer
End Chorus Riff
e|-9-5-6-3----------------- ---------------------------------|
B|---------3-1------------- ---------------------------------|
G|-------------3-2---------*strum Em and Fm*---------------------------------|
D|------------------------- Chords ---------------------------------|
A|------------------------- ---------------------------------|
E|------------------------- ---------------------------------|
Verse:
A# F
I went to the doctor,
C F
'cos my gut was playin' up
A# F
He said, 'son, your throat is too small,
C F
we're gonna have to stick this up your butt'
A# F
He bent me over,
C F
told me to think of something pleasant
A# F
It was like he had a handful of stuffing
C F
and I was some kind of pheasant.
Chorus:
Am G
Rectal Computer,
Am G
Rectal Computer (Stick it in your asshole),
Am G
Rectal Computer (I think it's got a virus!),
Am
Rectal Computer
Verse 2:
A# F
Someone hacked into my computer,
C F
and programmed it to give me gas
A# F
My mum said, 'son,why you walkin' funny?',
C F
I said 'I got a compromised processor lodged up my ass'
A# F
I showed it to my friends,
C F
they were quite impressed
A# F
Now everyone I know has a-
Chorus:
Am G
Rectal Computer,
Am G
Rectal Computer (It's internet capable!),
Am G
Rectal Computer (I need an upgrade!),
Am
Rectal Computer
---------------
version 2
Tuning: Standard
Intro: "Hello there, I've got a little story for you all..."
e|------10-------------5------------5------5--5--5--5--5----------------------|
B|--------10------------5------------5-----5--5--5--5--5----------------------|
G|-5/7-------------------------5/7---------5--5--5--5--5----------------------|
D|-0--------------5/7----------0-----------5--5--5--5--5----------------------|
A|----------------5/7----------------------7--7--7--7--7----------------------|
E|----------------3/5----------------------5--5--5--5--5----------------------|
Repeat once
Chorus: "Rectal computer..."
e|--5-5-5-7-8---5---------------------------------------------------------------|
B|--6-6-6-6-6---5---5-5-5-5-----------------------------------------------------|
G|--5-5-5-5-5---5---5-5-5-5-----------------------------------------------------|
D|--------------7---5/7-5-5-----------------------------------------------------|
A|--------------7---5/7-7-7-----------------------------------------------------|
E|--------------5---5-5-5-5-----------------------------------------------------|
Repeat this measure two times
End of chorus:
e|-5-5-5-7--8-5-6-------------------------------------------------------------|
B|-6-6-6-6-------8-5-6--------------------------------------------------------|
G|-5-5-5-5------------7-5-----------------------------------------------------|
D|------------------------7-5-------------------------------------------------|
A|---------------------------7------------------------------------------------|
E|-----------------------------1-11-0-1-0-1-0-1-1-----------------------------|
"Hwa!"
Verse:
e|----------------10----------------------------------------------------------|
B|------------------10---------------------10-10-10---------------------------|
G|-----3-----5/7-------------------9-------10-10-10---------------------------|
D|---5--5----0---------------10------10----10-10-10---------------------------|
A|-5--5-------------------10----10--------------------------------------------|
E|-3----------------------8---------------------------------------------------|
After verse, play the chorus again, and then another verse.
Bridge at the end of final verse: "I showed it to my friends..."
e|------------------------------------------------------------------------------|
B|---------------------------10-------------------------------------------------|
G|----------9----------10-------10----------------------------------------------|
D|----10------10----10----10----------------------------------------------------|
A|-10----10---------8-----------------------------------------------------------|
E|-8----------------------------------------------------------------------------|
At the end of the bridge stum: as a chord, which leads to the ending chorus
e|------------------------------------------------------------------------------|
B|----------------------------10------------------------------------------------|
G|----------------------------10------------------------------------------------|
D|----------------------------10------------------------------------------------|
A|----------------------------8-------------------------------------------------|
E|------------------------------------------------------------------------------|
| / slide up
| \ slide down
| h hammer-on
| p pull-off
| ~ vibrato
| + harmonic
| x Mute note
| b Bend
| pb Pre-bend
| br Bend release
| pbr Pre-bend release
| brb Bend release bend
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