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Monkey Farts by Seamus Kennedy
Monkey Farts
Note: On the A7 chords that end a line, alternate between A7sus and A7 by adding and
removing the 3rd fret B string to the standard A7 chord.
D A7 D
My father came here from his home in Ireland,
G D A7
He was quiet but they said that he was wise.
D D7 G E
He and Mother did their best, gave us a home and all the rest,
E7 A7
But to talk to us he never had the time.
D A7 D
Sure, he'd say "Pass the butter." or, "Come here young man."
G D A7
Or, "Keep quiet." or, "No you can't have a dime."
D D7 G E
Until the day when I was leavin' when Dad finally found a reason
E7 A7
For sharing his philosophy of life...
D A7 D
He said: "A monkey fart should smell like a banana,
G D A7
English farts should smell like cups of tea;
D D7 G E
The farting of a fairy should be very light and airy,
E7 A7
When a father farts I hope you'll think of me.
D A7 D
An Irish fart should always lilt with laughter,
G D A7
It should melt your heart and melt your shorts as well,
D D7 G
E
A lion's fart should roar with power, cuckoos should fart every hour,
E7 A7
A nun's fart should have meaning but no smell;
D A7 D
A strong man's fart should sound out like a trumpet,
G D A7
A pretty girl's should barely even squeak,
D D7 G E
But the person you can trust is the one who'd rather bust
E7 A7
Than ever let one rip right on the street..."
D A7 D
Well, from my old man this really was an earful,
G D A7
I tried to understand just what he meant;
D D7 G E
His words were primitive but strong so I wouldn't get them wrong,
E7 A7
He was saying to be careful as I went.
D A7 D
He was saying to be happy as I could be,
G D A7
He was saying watch my step and as I pass,
D D7 G E
To beware who I look up to, and whatever else I might do,
E7 (Hold) A7
Know that most of what you get from folks is just escaping gas...
D A7 D
He said: "A monkey fart should smell like a banana,
G D A7
English farts should smell like cups of tea;
D D7 G E
The farting of a fairy should be very light and airy,
E7 A7
When a father farts I hope you'll think of me.
D A7 D
An Irish fart should always lilt with laughter,
G D A7
It should melt your heart and melt your shorts as well,
D D7 G
E
A lion's fart should roar with power, cuckoos should fart every hour,
E7 A7
A nun's fart should have meaning but no smell;
D A7 D
A strong man's fart should sound out like a trumpet,
G D A7
A pretty girl's should barely even squeak,
D D7 G E
But the person you can trust is the one who'd rather bust
E7 A7 D
Than ever let one rip right on the street..."
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