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Astronaut by Tripod Astronaut Intro: Gm D# twice Gm D# I know what you're all wondering Gm Gm Have Tripod ever been to Japan D# But you're ignoring a much bigger question A# Why don't the Japanese have a space program D# Why aren't there any Japanese astronauts A# F# G# Have you ever seen a Japanese astronau________t C I'll tell you why you haven't seen one D# I'll tell you why A# F D# Gm You can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're an astronaut F It's those damn fat gloves A# F D# Gm And you can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're in zero grav F Cos the tea goes everywhere Gm The tea goes everywhere Gm D# Japanese culture's always fanscinated me Gm From their traditions to their modern way of life D# But all their elegance and rich history A# Doesn't sit well with my interest in space A# F D# Gm Because you can't carry out a ninja style assassination dressed as an astronaut F It's the luminous fabric (you're too visible) A# F D# Gm And they don't let you use a samurai sword when you're an astronaut F You might puncture the suit Gm You might depressurize F Gm F# Like a gremlin in a microwa_____ve G# C# But it's those damn fat gloves F They're the main problem F# C# You can't nurture your tamagotchi F F# You can't make an origami swan G# A A#M D# Have you ever tried to get a used panty vending machine into a space shuttle D# C# Well I've tried and they don't let you F# Fucking NASA red tape Interlude: Gm D# Gm D# A# D# A# D# Gm D# I couldn't reconcile the two things that I loved Gm So I threw away my dreams of outer space D# I had to find myself a whole new job A# Maybe in the sports arena I would find a place A# F D# Gm But you can't do a Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're a boxing champ F It's those damned fat gloves again A# F D# Gm Those confounded puffy mitts loom in front of my face every night in bed F I'm haunted by fat gloves A# You can't drink sake, you can't do bukkake F Or ride a Kawasaki D# F# When you're an astronaut F#(let ring) G#(let ring) And they don't let you be an astronaut on Japanese tele A#(let ring) Cos you're not enough of a red herring *************************************************************************** Capo 3rd fret version Intro: Em C twice Em C I know what you're all wondering Em Em Have Tripod ever been to Japan C But you're ignoring a much bigger question G Why don't the Japanese have a space program C Why aren't there any Japanese astronauts G D# F Have you ever seen a Japanese astronau________t A I'll tell you why you haven't seen one C I'll tell you why G D C Em You can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're an astronaut D It's those damn fat gloves G D C Em And you can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're in zero grav D Cos the tea goes everywhere Em The tea goes everywhere Back to verse Em C Japanese culture's always fanscinated me Em From their traditions to their modern way of life C But all their elegance and rich history G Doesn't sit well with my interest in space G D C Em Because you can't carry out a ninja style assassination dressed as an astronaut D It's the luminous fabric (you're too visible) G D C Em And they don't let you(Ooooh) use a samurai sword when you're an astronaut D You might puncture the suit Em You might depressurize D Em D# Like a gremlin in a microwa_____ve F A# But it's those damn fat gloves D They're the main problem D# A# You can't nurture your tamagotchi D D# You can't make an origami swan F F# Gm C Have you ever tried to get a used panty vending machine into a space shuttle C A# Well I've tried and they don't let you D# Fucking NASA red tape Interlude: Em C Em C G C G C Em C I couldn't reconcile the two things that I loved Em So I threw away my dreams of outer space C I had to find myself a whole new job G Maybe in the sports arena I would find a place G D C Em But you can't do a Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're a boxing champ D It's those damned fat gloves again G D C Em Those confounded putty mitts loom in front of my face every night in bed D I'm haunted by fat gloves G You can't drink sake, you can't do bukkake D Or ride a Kawasaki C A# When you're an astronaut A#(let ring) C(let ring) And they don't let you be an astronaut on Japanese tele G(let ring) Cos you're not enough of a red herri ------------