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Astronaut by Tripod




                 Astronaut





Intro:
Gm  D# twice
 
Gm                            D#
  I know what you're all wondering
                         Gm        Gm
Have Tripod ever been to Japan
                                  D#
But you're ignoring a much bigger question
                                    A#
Why don't the Japanese have a space program
                              D#
Why aren't there any Japanese astronauts
A#                              F#        G#
  Have you ever seen a Japanese astronau________t
              C
I'll tell you why you haven't seen one
D#
  I'll tell you why


    A#                    F            D#                  Gm
You can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're an astronaut
                F
It's those damn fat gloves
        A#                    F            D#                  Gm
And you can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're in zero grav
                 F
Cos the tea goes everywhere
                  Gm
The tea goes everywhere



Gm                                D#
  Japanese culture's always fanscinated me
                                             Gm
From their traditions to their modern way of life
                                   D#
But all their elegance and rich history
                                     A#
Doesn't sit well with my interest in space


 
            A#                                   F      D#                 Gm
Because you can't carry out a ninja style assassination dressed as an astronaut
                  F
It's the luminous fabric (you're too visible)
         A#                  F             D#                  Gm
And they don't let you use a samurai sword when you're an astronaut
                F
You might puncture the suit


 
            Gm
You might depressurize
F                    Gm       F#
 Like a gremlin in a microwa_____ve
G#                    C#
  But it's those damn fat gloves
                 F
They're the main problem
    F#                     C#
You can't nurture your tamagotchi
          F               F#
You can't make an origami swan
         G#                       A                A#M               D#
Have you ever tried to get a used panty vending machine into a space shuttle
     D#                        C#
Well I've tried and they don't let you
                 F#
Fucking NASA red tape


Interlude:
Gm  D#   Gm  D#   A#   D#   A#   D# 


Gm                                          D#
 I couldn't reconcile the two things that I loved
                                 Gm
So I threw away my dreams of outer space
                                D#
I had to find myself a whole new job
                                         A#
Maybe in the sports arena I would find a place


 
        A#                  F            D#                   Gm
But you can't do a Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're a boxing champ
                  F
It's those damned fat gloves again
      A#                             F                D#             Gm
Those confounded puffy mitts loom in front of my face every night in bed
               F
I'm haunted by fat gloves
    A#
You can't drink sake, you can't do bukkake
   F
Or ride a Kawasaki
D#                  F#
When you're an astronaut
         F#(let ring)                              G#(let ring)
And they don't let you be an astronaut on Japanese tele 
                                A#(let ring)
Cos you're not enough of a red herring


  
***************************************************************************


Capo 3rd fret version


Intro:
Em  C twice
 
Em                            C
  I know what you're all wondering
                         Em        Em
Have Tripod ever been to Japan
                                  C
But you're ignoring a much bigger question
                                    G
Why don't the Japanese have a space program
                              C
Why aren't there any Japanese astronauts
G                              D#        F
  Have you ever seen a Japanese astronau________t
              A
I'll tell you why you haven't seen one
C
  I'll tell you why


 
    G                     D            C                  Em
You can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're an astronaut
                D
It's those damn fat gloves
        G                     D            C                   Em
And you can't do the Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're in zero grav
                 D
Cos the tea goes everywhere
                  Em
The tea goes everywhere


Back to verse 


Em                                C
  Japanese culture's always fanscinated me
                                             Em
From their traditions to their modern way of life
                                   C
But all their elegance and rich history
                                     G
Doesn't sit well with my interest in space


 
            G                                    D      C                 Em
Because you can't carry out a ninja style assassination dressed as an astronaut
                  D
It's the luminous fabric (you're too visible)
         G                          D             C                   Em
And they don't let you(Ooooh) use a samurai sword when you're an astronaut
                D
You might puncture the suit


 
            Em
You might depressurize
D                    Em       D#
 Like a gremlin in a microwa_____ve
F                     A#
  But it's those damn fat gloves
                 D
They're the main problem
    D#                     A#
You can't nurture your tamagotchi
          D               D#
You can't make an origami swan
         F                        F#               Gm                C
Have you ever tried to get a used panty vending machine into a space shuttle
     C                         A#
Well I've tried and they don't let you
                 D#
Fucking NASA red tape


Interlude:
Em   C   Em   C   G   C   G   C 


Em                                          C
 I couldn't reconcile the two things that I loved
                                 Em
So I threw away my dreams of outer space
                                C
I had to find myself a whole new job
                                         G
Maybe in the sports arena I would find a place


 
        G                   D            C                    Em
But you can't do a Japanese Tea Ceremony when you're a boxing champ
                  D
It's those damned fat gloves again
      G                              D                C              Em
Those confounded putty mitts loom in front of my face every night in bed
               D
I'm haunted by fat gloves
    G
You can't drink sake, you can't do bukkake
   D
Or ride a Kawasaki
C                   A#
When you're an astronaut
         A#(let ring)                              C(let ring)
And they don't let you be an astronaut on Japanese tele 
                               G(let ring)
Cos you're not enough of a red herri 











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