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If You Really Loved Me by Tim Minchin
If You Really Loved Me
Gm Dmaj#5/Gb
If you really loved me the way you say you do
Bb/F Gm/E
If you love me half as much as I love you
Cm7/Eb Bb
You would pluck a planet from the sky
A D
You™d use a star to dot the i
... A D Gm
When their love for one another is true
Doo doo doo
.. A D
But shirking challenges is not what love
Eb
Is all about
D Eb
Love is not all wine and roses
D Eb
Sometimes it™s handcuffs and cheese
C/E F
No-one said love is for free
Am/E
And if you agree with that
Cm/Eb D7 Gm
You™ll sing me passages from the koran wearing nothing but your Bob the Builder hat
Dmaj#5/Gb
To the tune of waltzing Matilda
Dm/F Gm/E Eb/F F E / / /
I just love the combination of islam, nationalism and buil--der
Am
Because I need you
Emaj#5/Ab
Like a tick needs a tock
C/G
Like bananas need pyjamas
D7/Gb
Like a nun needs cock
Dm7/F C
But if you want to put your love for me first
B E
You wouldn™t go through childbirth
Am Emaj#5/Ab
You™d agree to adopt so that you could stay thin
C/G D7/Gb
We™ll get a Chinese kid, it could teach us Mandarin
Dm7/F C
And communists don™t make as much noise
B E Am G
And they™re really good at sharing their toys
Cm
Because I dig you
Gmaj#5/B
Like an Aussie digs pies
Eb/Bb
Like Born-Agains dig Jesus
F7/A
Like Jesus dug guys
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version 2
Gm
If you really loved me
D7/Gb
the way you say you do
Bb/F
If you love me half as much
C7/E
as I love you
Cm7/Eb Bb
You would pluck a planet from the sky
A D
You™d use a star to dot the “iâ€
Gm D7/Gb
In I love you... that is what you™d do
Bb/F
You'd take a dreary day
C7/E
and you would paint it blue
Cm7/Eb Bb
If you loved me unconditionally
A
These are the things
D
that you would do for me
Because I need you
Like a fish needs the sea
Like a fire needs oxygen
Like a flower needs a bee
And if you really care for me
You™d let me video you while you wee
Standing up in the bath,
I shouldn™t even have to ask
Perhaps you™ll even store
a little more in a flask
These are just the things that people do
A D Gm
When their love for one another is true
Ba da da
We go together
Like a cracker and Brie
Like racism and ignorance
Like bling and R&B
But if you really want to show you care
You™d let me wear your underwear
When we visit your mum's,
it's a bit of harmless fun
I just like talking about your childhood
with some lace between my buns
There™s no reason for a big to-do
If your love for one another is true
Ba da da
We go together
Like a bird in a nest
Like Internet and porn
Like guns and the US
And if you love me
like you say that you do
You'd purchase forty cockatoo
And teach them to fly
in formation in the sky
And shit the words “Tim is Godâ€
on my ex-girlfriend™s Hyundai
Sure, it might be easier with doves
But shirking challenges is not what love
Eb
Is all about
D Eb
Love is not all wine and roses
D Eb
Sometimes it™s handcuffs and cheese
C/E F
No-one said love is for free
Am/E
And if you agree with that
Cm/Eb
You'll sing me passages from the Koran
D7 Gm
wearing nothing but a Bob the Builder hat
Dmaj#5/Gb (or... D/Gb)
To the tune of waltzing Matilda
Dm/F Gm/E
I just love the combination of Islam,
Eb/F F E
nationalism and buil--der
--*SOLO*-- (Best of luck...)
(Builder)
(Islam)
(Nationalism)
(And a little bitty builder)
(Islam)
(Ozzy Ozzy Ozzy)
(And Bob the fucking Builder)
... (Let Bob the fucking Builder!)
Am
Because I need you
E7/Ab
Like a tick needs a tock
C/G
Like bananas need pyjamas
D7/Gb
Like a nun needs cock
Dm7/F C
But if you want to put your love for me first
B E
You wouldn™t go through childbirth
Am
You™d agree to adopt
E7/Ab
so that you could stay thin
C/G
We™ll get a Chinese kid,
D7/Gb
it could teach us Mandarin
Dm7/F C
And communists don™t make as much noise
B
And they™re really good
E Am G
at sharing their toys
Cm
Because I dig you
G/B
Like an Aussie digs pies
Eb/Bb
Like Born-Agains dig Jesus
F7/A
Like Jesus dug guys
Fm7/Ab G
And if you love me unconditionally
D G
You™d do my tax return for me
Cm
Cos it™s way overdue,
G/B
and I just don™t know,
Eb/Bb
I guess I™m self-employed
F7/A
but do I still pay as I go?
Fm7/Ab G
And does the threshold apply to me?
C G
And should I register for GST?
C G
And if you love me unconditionally
A D Gm
Would you let me video you while you wee?
C
Assuming there's nothing worth watching on the ABC
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